Life has a way of pulling us in directions we never quite expected. Last week, I returned to the states, reunited with my beautiful children and felt the comfort of connection with my family. It has been powerful to see the changes in my kids and granddaughter. My youngest is taller. My granddaughter is speaking and interacting more than ever.
But underneath the joy of being back, something deeper has been stirring. A quiet, persistent whisper in my heart that’s been growing louder: You’re not done yet. There’s more waiting for you. And that whisper is pointing across the ocean-back to the U.K..
This isn’t the first time I’ve felt split in two. The States will always be where my roots are-my children, my family, the foundation of who I am. But the UK? That’s where my soul woke up! That’s where I found parts of myself I didn’t know were missing. It’s a place where possibility feels real, and I can hear my own voice more clearly. I have found love. A love that is healthy and unwavering. A committed relationship where two people completely embrace one another. I have found my best friend and confidante…something I never expected, but something I have longed for.
So here I am, caught in the tug-of-war of two homes. One holds my heart in the form of my children, my memories and my past. The other holds the promise of my future-a life built on authenticity, creativity and perhaps even a little reinvention.
It’s not easy. No decision involving your children ever is. But I’ve learned that being true to yourself isn’t selfish-it’s necessary. Because when we live in alignment with who we really are, we have more to give. More love. More presence. More inspiration. And that’s what I want to bring back to my children, no matter the miles between us.
This journey isn’t about leaving something behind-it’s about moving toward something that’s calling me. I’m choosing to trust the pull. To walk the unknown, even with tears in my eyes and love in both hands.
I am applying for a visa that will allow me to move to the UK and begin to build a life there. The timeline right now is unknown. And, while I apply, I must remain in the States and try my best to build a temporary life here. And, enjoy the time I have with my kids and friends. The unknown is scary, but the idea of staying where I am? Even scarier.
I don’t know what you are facing at this time my friend, but I encourage you to take a look at the life you are living and ask yourself-are you living in alignment with who you are truly meant to be? If you aren’t then maybe it’s time to take a closer look at what you are doing and who you have surrounded yourself with. Maybe there is more. Maybe on the other side of fear is the life you are truly meant to lead.
I know I am going to ruffle some feathers with my decision. But I also know I can’t continue to live my life for others. I have to be true to myself.
The UK is calling. And I am listening…
Sending love and light
Stacey
